How to Install R on an HPC: A Comedy in T̶w̶o̶ -- NO -- THREE Acts (a.k.a. 'The Longest Day')

TL;DR: Just look at the Gist. Summary: Act I, in which I try and fail. Act II, in which I think I succeed but actually failed without knowing it till I tried to use it. Act III, in which I return to my beginning, ponder the universe, dive deep into the depths of the abyss, and come back with the magic bean that makes everything work.

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